When should new love interests be introduced to the kids?

by Brenda
(Columbus, Ohio USA)

What is an appropriate amount of time for me, or my Ex, to introduce our children to a new love interest?

What type of interactions would be best? Is it best to simply introduce them, or should we go to a movie, have picnic, take a day trip, or something else?

Click below for Sara's answer!

Comments for When should new love interests be introduced to the kids?

Click here to add your own comments

Sara Says...
by: Sara!

Great question! We all struggle with this topic. I brought my kids into my first post-divorce relationship too early, and they were not happy with the situation! I brought them into my most recent relationship too late, and my fella was a bit unsure of our relationship because I kept my kids away too long.

While there is no hard and fast rule, and each family situation is different, my answer is...

The best time to introduce your kids to a new love interest is between 2 and 6 months into the relationship.

This is an appropriate time period because after a few months the two of you have had an opportunity to get to know each other...and if your attraction was superficial, you'll know it within that time period. Your relationship will end and your kids will be none the wiser.

You will also know by the 6 month mark if you both have an interest in continuing the relationship to "see where it goes". Kids are a big part of that decision, so it's a good time to bring them into the relationship and assess how everyone fits together.

Now...where to go and what to do...

This also varies...but starting slowly and naturally typically works for everyone and is easy to implement. A meet and greet as you are on your way out the door for a date is a simple way to start. From there, you can move to something that allows everyone to spend some time together, but not so much time that you all just end up staring at each other! From there try a trip to a park or playground where the kids can safely come and go throughout the day, or short mixers like an ice cream or burger runs. If all goes smoothly, your ready for a full blown day, or maybe even a weekend together!

These are just some suggestions. Your activities will vary based on the ages of your kids and the interests of everyone involved. Happy dating!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Ask Sara!.